"I, Meridath, take thee, Rick, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and obey, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance."
18 years ago tomorrow, on 9/30/2000 I said these vows to my husband having absolutely no idea what life would have in store for us.
We have seen the better: 3 beautiful children, a home, friends, family, vacations, holidays with family.
We have seen the worse: The loss of a child, miscarriage, the loss of a home, friends that have drifted apart, family members aging and getting sick or passing away.
We have seen richer: I have learned to define "richer" in more than financial terms over the course of our marriage. We are rich in love, rich in friends, rich in family, rich in faith.
We have seen poorer: We have struggled to pay bills. We have had to ask for help. It has been hard during those times, but our love prevailed.
We have seen sickness: Chronic illness, surgery, a motorcycle accident. Most of our marriage one of us has been sick, but our love prevailed.
We have seen health: 3 healthy pregnancies, days and sometimes weeks when my chronic illness is in remission. We have learned to enjoy the healthy moments more because they are few and far between.
Love, cherish and obey: I specifically had 'obey' added into my portion of our vows. I know it has been popular to leave that out, but my understanding (limited as it was at that time) of biblical marriage was that a wife is to submit to her husband. I find it an honor to submit and obey and I feel cherished and protected when I do so.
Till death do us part (yes, there is a joke in here about our last name being Death....but that's for another post): We agreed many years ago that the "d" word (divorce) would not enter our conversation, no matter how angry we were with one another. I cannot say that we have always held true to that, but we have done our best and recognized when we have let things get too far out of hand. We both took our vows very seriously and truly believe that our love will last even after death.
According to God's holy ordinance: I have to thank two very special couples that modeled biblical marriage for us, even though we didn't think we needed that at the time we wed.
First, my parents-they have been married over 50 years and I am grateful to my father for showing me the type of man I should seek for a husband and to my mother for showing me how to be a respectful, loving, patient and submissive wife.
Second, Perry and Emily Crouch. Perry was the Youth Pastor at the church I grew up in and also the officiant at our wedding. I remember going through the pre-marital counseling classes and being told that, while he was not sure we were ready for marriage, he would go ahead with it anyways. Looking back, I learned so much from watching their marital relationship at church. I am also so grateful for the love and time they poured into me as a rather, um, difficult teen...
We have been married 18 years, but we have been together almost 25.
-High school graduations
-Long-distance college
-Job changes
-Loss of grandparents
-Marriage
-4 pregnancies
-1 miscarriage
-9 moves, 2 states
-Loss of a parent
-Illness of parents
-Chronic illness
-Vehicle accidents
-Loss of a child
These are the things our marriage has weathered and I know there are more that could be on this list. It has not always been easy, in fact-it has rarely been easy. But, the "better" is all about perspective. The good times are not about everything being perfect, but rather about being with the person that is perfect for you.
Blessings,
Meri
Meri
