In the Desert

So, I have been absent for a while.

Not just from blogging, but from life. Over the past couple of months, life has taken some turns that we were not expecting and I have to admit that I have not dealt with it well. I have been in survival mode-functioning on the bare minimum for many weeks.

I won't bore you with the details....it really is not important.  The bottom line is, something (or things) have been keeping me separated from my Heavenly Father.

That's the truth of the matter. I have let the changes and trials of life drive me away from the One who loves me and cares for me the most.

In studying how Jesus dealt with trials and tribulation, specifically His temptation in the desert, I have realized that my response to my current troubles has been less than godly.

When Satan tempted Jesus with food...

"But it is written, 'Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God'." -Matthew 4:4

What is your bread?  What is tempting you away from the word of God?

Mine is distraction-television, music, work-anything to occupy my time and keep my mind off of my current situation. Rather than running to the words of my Comforter, my Heavenly Father, I choose to distract myself with the things of this world.

When Satan tempted Jesus to prove God's power...

"Jesus said to him, 'Again it is written, "You shall not put the Lord God to the test".'" 
-Matthew 4:7

Do you ask God to prove himself to you?  Do you pray out of obedience?

We ask God to prove himself when we ask for a specific answer to prayer. Praying in obedience simply asks God to acknowledge our request and accepts His answer-regardless of whether or not it matches our desires.

When Satan tempted Jesus with the riches of the world... 

"Then Jesus said to him, 'Be gone, Satan. For it is written, "You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve.'" -Matthew 4:10

What gods do you worship?  What comes between you and worshiping the Lord your God?

Television, sports, sleeping late....all of these things, on their own, are not inherently sinful.  However, when these things come before worship and separate you from God, they become sinful.  When we put the things of this world before worshiping its Creator, we have misplaced our priorities.

There is hope in Matthew 4:11.  Jesus orders Satan to "be gone" and he goes. Angels come and minister to Jesus. There is an end to the trials and temptations in the desert. There is hope for the future. 

I believe this story is in the Bible for two reasons.  I think it occurred for the sake of showing Satan, once again, that he has no real power. At the time this event took place, there was no audience but Satan. God wanted to show him that Jesus was fully God and fully man.  But in the telling of the story in scripture, God gives a guideline for resisting the temptations of this life. He shows us the proper eternal perspective. He also gives us a Savior who, while fully God, is also fully man and able to understand our trials and tribulations.

God is enough. God is always good.

Blessings,
Meri
 

Vows

Last week, we celebrated 15 years of marriage.

As I think about that day, 15 years ago, it strikes me how the vows I recited in front of God, my husband, family and friends that day were more than a promise in that one moment. They are a living thing, changing and growing over time, but always remaining steady and true at their core.

"To have and to hold from this day forward"

Physical touch is such a vital part of our marriage. Over the years, this has taken many different forms. There are the obvious aspects that we all think of when we consider the physical side of marriage, but there is so much more to "having and holding" than what happens in the marriage bed.

The gentle caress of my cheek when he wipes away my tears, the intertwining of our fingers while holding hands, the support of his strong hand in the small of my back as we walk into the hospital to welcome our first child into this world, the comfort of his strong arms around me as I weep on his chest after the loss of our 4th child through miscarriage.

I also want to address the "to have" portion of this phrase. I think we all have an inherent desire to belong, and I am so grateful to have someone to belong to and who belongs to me in this life.

"For better or worse"

As young, healthy, and somewhat naive newlyweds-our future was full of "for better". It's funny when we look back in our lives we see the challenges and hard times along with the joy and good times, but when we look ahead, we tend to only focus on the "for better". For the most part, I think we view this portion of our vows through the lens of life circumstances. But I think it goes deeper than that. By promising to love each other "for better or worse" we are promising to stick it out even when our spouse disappoints us.

We are human. We disappoint one another. As sure as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, your spouse will let you down. What I have learned, and am still learning, about this particular vow, is that marriage is a picture of God's love for the church. We have to be willing to extend grace to our spouse, just as God covers our multitude of sins with His grace.

"For richer, for poorer"

On the surface, this is pretty straightforward. Our love is not to be altered by our financial situation. And that is good stuff-true and wise.  However, the past 2 years have taught me more about the meaning of this particular vow than I could possibly have imagined. Our story of financial struggle is shared throughout my blog, so I will spare you the details here.  Suffice it to stay, my understanding of what makes you rich and what makes you poor has changed dramatically.

"In sickness and in health"

When you are 22 and healthy and vibrant and full of life, "in sickness" seems like something you will have to deal with after say....30 or 40 years of marriage. I pictured us growing old together, rocking in our matching chairs on the front porch of our vintage, remodeled farmhouse, sipping sweet tea while we watched our grandchildren play in our yard. Sickness didn't really figure into my vision of the future.

However, that was not quite how it worked out. Since 2009, I have battled chronic illness. Lately, the main topic of conversation with my husband tends to be related to my health. My daily activities are dictated by how my body feels. This is not what I had planned. This is not how it's supposed to be 15 years in.

But there has been a purpose-a beautiful, God-ordained, blessed purpose-in all of this. My husband has shown me compassion and care beyond anything I could have imagined. He has searched for answers with me, taken me to countless doctor's appointments, and taken care of me when I have been too weak, too exhausted, and too sick to manage.

"To love, honor, and obey"

Apparently, there is a trend among Christians and non-Christians alike, to omit the "obey" portion of the bride's vows. Obedience and submission are not popular concepts in today's society, especially when it comes to wives obeying husbands.

I purposed to include this word in our wedding vows 15 years ago, but I have to be honest, it was not likely for the right reasons. But God knew. He saw our lives 5, 10, 15 years down the road and knew that this little word would play a huge role in our marriage.

Submission does not come easy to me. But as I study God's word and instruction on this topic and work to make it a part of my daily life, not just in marriage, but in my walk with God, I find great freedom in obedience. There is a reason that God created the husband to be the head of the family. There has to be a leader, there has to be a final decision-maker. And let me be entirely truthful here-I am glad it's not me! I am so thankful for a godly, strong and wise husband to turn to when tough decisions have to be made. Don't misunderstand-I still express my opinion (a lot) and he listens and carefully considers my desires. But sometimes, hard choices have to be made and it is important to have a strong leader who seeks God's guidance in this process.

Blessings,
Meri

Grief and Joy

So here's the thing-we all know cancer sucks. But today, it sucks in a very personal way. It sucks in a way that hits just a little too close to home for me.

Last night, my Momma and I lost a sweet friend to this terrible disease.

She was a vibrant, active, kind, encouraging, caring, smart and funny lady. She battled cancer for 8 years with dignity and grace. But ultimately, her body just couldn't fight anymore. She was tired. She was worn. She was ready to go home.

My heart rejoices for her! She is pain-free, cancer-free. She is at home with Jesus and there is no more suffering for her! Praise the Lord!

But my heart aches as well. Not just for the void that now exists in the lives of everyone she knew, but because this just got real. You see, my sweet friend died of metastatic cancer. Something very similar (if not the same) as what my Momma has. There is no cure.

It feels a little like peering into the future for me. And I am not ready to face that future. Everything in me, every fiber of my being wants to fight the reality that I will someday lose my Momma (actually, both of my parents.....but I digress).

Three weeks ago, I was talking with my friend about her business (we work in the same field) and seeking her advice on an issue I was having. Last week, she was at my Momma's house for dinner. Today she is in Heaven.

Like a thief in the night.

Death feels like that to those of us left behind, doesn't it? Like something has been stolen from us. But how can God steal what already belongs to Him? As I study His word and learn more about trusting Him, not just knowing and worshiping, but truly trusting, I am learning that He is always in control. Always. No exceptions. Nothing gets by Him, nothing gets to us before it passes through His hands.

If God was ready to call my friend home, who am I to ask Him to let her stay here on earth-suffering and in pain-when she could be at home with her Heavenly Father? And this applies to my Momma as well.

I feel like we haven't had enough time. I regret all the wasted years of teen angst and young adult rebellion. I am not ready. I never will be.

But God will be ready one day. He will be ready to call His daughter home to Him to live in glory forever. How can I even consider wanting to delay that?

So here is what I want you to know:

Cancer sucks.

Love big. Love loud. Love now.

Forgive. Forget.

Choose joy.

Love is everything.

Blessings,
Meri

The "S" Word (No, Not THAT One)

Let's talk about sin.

I know, it's not popular. It's uncomfortable. It's awkward.

But sin is in all of us. It comes from within. It is not the result of some outward force invading our lives. We are not born inherently good. In fact, due to the Original Sin in the Garden of Eden, we are all born inherently sinful.

With all of the media attention on Ashley Madison and Planned Parenthood, I needed to take a step back. When I did, I found that at the root of both of these hot-button topics is one thing...sin.

We like to use the phrase "Love the sinner, hate the sin," but that is not actually based in scripture. It is based on a quote by St. Augustine "cum dilectione homium et odio vitiorum" which loosely translates to "with love for mankind and hatred for sins". 

The truth is, God hates sin. Sin separates us from God. Sin places a great canyon between our Heavenly Father and His children.

But there is hope, sweet friends! God sent His son so bridge the gap. God's grace through the sacrifice of Christ covers all of our sin and draws us back to Him. 

But wait. How does this apply to the issues currently at hand? Does this mean that the baby-murderers at Planned Parenthood get off scot-free? Does it mean that the adulterers on Ashley Madison do not reap the consequences of their actions?

In a word...no.

God has promised forgiveness for our sins. Christ paid the ultimate price for sin so that we do not have to. Our sins on this earth will not have eternal consequences if we confess them and ask God's forgiveness.

Just in case you missed it, that last part there, we must confess our sins and ask God's forgiveness.

Y'all. Sin is real. Sin is ever-present in our lives. God's promise of forgiveness and grace does not alleviate the consequences of our actions here on earth.  It also does not allow us to just believe and then behave however we desire. God calls us to accountability. He calls us to identify our sin, name it, call it out, and confess it.

We cannot receive His grace without first recognizing our desperate need for it.

And the way we do that is calling sin what it is...sin.

Adultery is sin. Murder is sin. Anything that separates us from God, anything that goes against His will...that is sin.

So what does that mean for us?

You may be thinking "I didn't have an abortion" or "I have never cheated" so these issues don't impact my life. But that is not true, dear reader!

There are no "better" sins or "worse" sins. Sin is sin. Plain and simple. Sin is ANYTHING that separates us from God. We are all guilty of sin.

So now that I have beaten you over the head with the club of "sin", I am going to tell you the end of the story.

God wins. Sin dies.

Just as God's grace through Jesus' death on the cross covers our sin, it covers ALL sin. Even murder. Even adultery. Because the story didn't end with death. It ended with life. Eternal life. Sin killed God's son. Sin kills us. But grace redeems. Jesus didn't stay on that cross or in that tomb.

Forgiveness can only come when we recognize that there is a need for it. Grace can only cover our sin if we know we are sinful.

Jenny Block recently wrote in her article "Here's Why It Makes Perfect Sense That Josh Duggar Cheated" in the Huffington Post:

"Can we please stop pretending that religion can somehow alter human behavior?"

As a whole, I was completely appalled at the article in which she calls humans animals and that abstinence and monogamy are against our nature and that "there is nothing wrong with sex outside of marriage between two enthusiastically consenting adults". However, she hit the nail on the head with this question.

Religion cannot alter human behavior. The process of following rules and jumping through hoops in an effort to be "good enough" cannot change our innate predisposition to sin. 

Only God can. Only God.

Blessings,

Meri

Study of Job: Misplaced Hope

Do you have that friend in your life that gives (what she/he thinks) is great advice? You know the one-they could probably write for a certain greeting card company. They always have something to say about what you are walking through. They mean well, but sometimes their "pop psychology" or even their pretty biblical references (usually taken out of context) are not quite what you need to hear. It may be what you want to hear, but it is not what God has for you.

In chapter 4 of the book of Job, we see Eliphaz frustrated and confused by Job's condition because he is of the belief that the innocent do not suffer, and to him, Job was an innocent. The suffering of Job has rocked Eliphaz's world and turned his belief system upside down!

In the beginning of chapter 5, Eliphaz is still coming to grips with this juxtaposition of his world view versus what he is witnessing with his very own eyes. Job 5:7 says "Yet man is born to trouble, as the sparks fly upward". This is a reference to Eliphaz's belief that man reaps what he sows, there must be a cause, that was generated by Job, for the terrible tragedies he has suffered. "The sparks fly upward" is actually a reference to Resheph-the god of pestilence and destruction. Eliphaz clearly has not come to terms with what has befallen his friend.

As if he realizes that his somewhat harsh words may have been rubbing salt into Job's wounds, Eliphaz softens his words (and likely his tone) in the next few verses. He encourages Job to appeal to God to relieve him of his pain and suffering.

To be honest, though, I am not sure Eliphaz is really "getting it" yet. The words of Job 5:8-16 do not strike me as spoken by a man (Eliphaz) who has an eternal perspective. He still seems to be seeking redemption for Job here on earth; and, while that is noble and does actually come to fruition, I have to wonder-what if it didn't? I know this is skipping ahead a bit, but what if Job was not redeemed while here on earth? What if his redemption did not come until he went home to heaven? Would we still be able to glean the joy from this story?

"So the poor have hope, and injustice shuts her mouth."

-Job 5:16

Every day, you and I see and hear of grave injustice around the world. Children dying of starvation, genocide in parts of the world, men and women murdered for their faith, families with no access to clean drinking water, families put out of their homes because of things beyond their control, soldiers returning from war to be forgotten by the very country the fought for. Where is the hope? Injustice's mouth seems to be wide open. 

In the book of Psalms alone, "hope" is mentioned 28 times (ESV). And each time hope is mentioned, it is in relation to the Lord or His word. Sweet friends, hope may be all we have sometimes, but please don't buy into the gospel of Eliphaz (otherwise known as "health, wealth, and prosperity doctrine"). God does not promise us a life of ease and wealth on this earth, but His promises are worth so.much.more.

1 Corinthians 15:18-19 tells us "Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied." 

Our hope is not in the things of this world. If it is, we are missing the best thing and are, therefore to be pitied. Sweet friends, place your hope in the One who created all things, the One who knows your innermost thoughts and knit you together in your mother's womb. Place you hope in God alone.

Blessings,
Meri

Share if You Love Jesus

I know you have all seen them in your Facebook feed.

"Share if you love Jesus, keep scrolling if you don't"

"This person just had something terrible happen, share if you care"

"My prayers were answered, and yours will be too if you share this picture"

for.the.love.


Y'all. Jesus is not a Facebook post. You are not going to hell if you don't share every faith-related or heartstrings-tugging meme that appears on Facebook. This is not how we spread the gospel. This is social media bullying.

Recently, I had a sweet friend who was deeply hurt by someone who misinterpreted her post on social media. My friend admits that she probably posted before thinking it through. However, the "friend's" reaction was also blown entirely out of proportion, to the point that my friend is not even sure she can continue to worship at the same church as this person.

Cyber-bullying has garnered a lot of attention amongst the pre-teen and teen age groups, sadly because it has resulted in serious consequences-including several suicides of those young people that were the victims of the bullying.

When I think of this type of toxic conversation, I am reminded of Psalm 4:4.

The sermon today at my church was on this specific passage and I truly appreciated the way our pastor broke down this verse:

"Be angry about sin, but don't let yourself be driven to sin by anger"

-Andrew Hopper (paraphrased)

In Psalm 4:4, David was facing an angry population. It's not clear exactly who was persecuting and slandering him or what it was even about, but it was certainly sinful on the part of his enemies. But David does not lash out in kind. He does not return slander for slander, insult for insult. Instead, He directs them to be silent and think over their response as well as to "Offer the sacrifices of righteousness and put your trust in the Lord" -Psalm 4:5

Over and over throughout the Psalms, David turns back to God's word. And this is the example God wanted him to set for His people, including us. David knew he was sinful, an adulterer and a murderer. But He also knew that God alone has the authority to judge.

Sweet sisters, please think before you post. "Meditate within yourself on your bed" as David instructs in Psalm 4:4. Consider that your words may do more harm than good. Ask yourself, is what I am about to say edifying or destructive? (And remember that sarcasm-which happens to be one of my spiritual gifts-does not always translate on social media). 

And please, please, please stop with the "share this picture or burn in hell" crap. Just sayin'.

Blessings Y'all,
Meri

Counting My Blessings

This morning I awoke to troubling news (of the financial variety-which seems to be a hot-button topic for my anxiety). But, last night God knew this was coming and He equipped me with the tools to overcome my fear and anxiety.

I am sure Philippians 4:6-7 is a familiar verse to most of you. It has been a verse I have clung to in times of trouble and worry.

But God wants better for us. He instructs commands us "Do not be anxious"! This has been such a struggle for me. I am a worrier. I desire instant solutions to my problems. I want to fix things myself. I give my burdens to the Lord only to take them back over and over.

I think one of the best examples of Philippians 4:6-7 in action is in the Psalms of David, specifically Psalm 56.

"When I am afraid, I put my trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?"

Psalm 56:3-4

David put his trust in the Almighty One. The One who knows how the our story ends because He has already written it, each and every day! I need not fear the future because it is but a memory to my Heavenly Father.

So in an effort to make my faith bigger than my fear, I will count my blessings-one by one.

• My Savior who died for my sins so that I may have eternal life in heaven
• A husband who seeks God's face daily
• Children whose names are all written in the Book of Life
• Parents who love me, my husband and my children and pray daily for us
• Friends who press in when life gets tough
• A church that seeks to spread the gospel through community
• So many more things that I cannot possibly list them all!

Blessings Y'all,
Meri