Awareness

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month & Infant Loss and Miscarriage Awareness Month.

I am aware.

I am so very aware.

I am aware of both of these struggles every single day, not just the 31 days of the year that my FB and Instagram feeds turn pink and blue.

In November 2010, we lost our fourth baby to miscarriage.  I was never able to conceive again.

Every day I grieve for that child, for what could have been. So often I wonder what our lives would look like with 4 children and an active 6 year old in our lives.

A few years ago, my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. She has already lived longer than 80% of those that receive this diagnosis, but she will never be cured.

I try to prepare myself for life without her, but it is just beyond my ability to imagine it.

While this month brings awareness to these issues, some of us live with them every day.

Grief and loss is not something that happens to you and then stops.  It changes who you are at your very core.  It colors every thing you do, how you think, and how you process the world around you.

Next time you encounter someone who seems distant or cold, ill-tempered or irritable, or sad or angry-think about what burdens they may be carrying and be kind.

Blessings,
Meri