You Are Not Alone

On April 4, 2018, the Green Space at Auburn University was covered in backpacks. An organization called Active Mind,s which raises awareness about the escalating numbers of suicide victims among college students, covered the Green Space with the backpacks of students who will never graduate, never pursue their dreams, never realize their goals in life. Each backpack had a story of it's owner attached to it. Each backpack was there because the owner no longer is.

A friend of mine is struggling with a situation right now, a nasty, ugly situation. One she probably thought no one could understand. One that she had a hard time even typing the words, much less speaking them. Sadly, I know some of what she is going through (I am keeping details out of this post in respect for her and her family's privacy).

I joined a Facebook group specifically for mothers of children whose lives were lost to suicide and mental illness. I have been amazed (and heartbroken) to see how many new members join each day.

What I want you to see in all of this is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Whatever you are going through, whatever painful path you are walking, someone else is there (or at least close to there) as well.  When we experience incredibly difficult, sometimes unspeakable situations in our lives, our natural reaction is to hide. Hide from the pain, hide from the perceived embarrassment, hide from friends and family, just hide from life. You feel like no one could possibly understand what you are going through. You feel guilty because you didn't do enough or maybe pushed too hard.

Sweet friends, you do not have to hide. God sees your pain. I can't say that He will make it go away. The "God never gives you more than you can handle" line is bullshit. But I have witnessed myself that He sees your pain and provides comfort. Sometimes it is reconnecting with an old friend, sometimes it is a therapy group, sometimes it's connecting with someone who is walking the same path.

And sometimes-it feels like you are alone, adrift in a rowboat in the middle of a raging sea.

See, grief is not a nice, neat linear experience. And it is not limited to losing a loved to death. Grief can be from the loss of a dream, the disappointment when family members hurt us. Grief can be the loss of physical health and the ability to do the things you could do before you were sick.

But grief is not a nice neat series of emotions that progress one after the other until you are able to "put it all behind you".

Grief is ever-changing, an evolving, living thing. You don't "put it behind you". But what you should do, what you need to do, is to share. Know that you are not alone and share your burden with others who have had similar experiences.

It's not easy (especially if you are an introvert like me), but it is so important to know you are not alone and you are not responsible for whatever it is that happened to bring you to this grief.

Blessings,
Meri