Firsts

We went to church yesterday. 4 weeks to the day we laid Logan to rest.

It was hard, so much harder than I could have imagined.

I know there will be a lot of "firsts" without him this year: birthdays, holidays, horse shows, rodeos, last day of school, first day of school.  But, I never expected our first time back to church would hurt so much.

We also attended a monthly family night with a group of friends that we have been doing for a couple of years now. It was the first time Logan was not there. It was so much harder than I anticipated.

My experiences yesterday have made me realize that it's not just the big events that are going to be difficult. It's going to happen far more often. Probably more often than I am prepared for.

But we will keep pressing forward. We will not crumble under the weight of our grief. We will survive this and someday, we will thrive.

Blessings,
Meri