Who's To Blame?

First and foremost, this is not a post about the Florida school shooting. While that is a tragic event, there are bloggers all over the internet weighing in with their perspective on the matter and they are doing a great job, so I have nothing new to add to that conversation right now.

However, I recently read a blog post that targeted the unrealistic expectations of parents and schools as a significant cause of anxiety and depression in teenagers.

While this may be a contributing factor, it muddies the already-cloudy waters of mental illness.

Mental illness is a disease process that effects the brain, an organ that the medical community still knows precious little about. It is an illness of the body, just like cancer or ALS or any other terrible disease that can potentially have a terminal outcome.

Until mental illness is recognized by society for exactly what it is, not weakness and not something that can be switched on and off at will or managed with positive thinking and deep breathing, there will remain a stigma attached to the disease and it's sufferers.

For over 2 years we navigated the very confusing mental health system. We tried counselors, psychiatrists, inpatient therapy and an endless number of drug cocktails to try to help our son. We didn't pressure him to get good grades, join school clubs, play school sports, take AP classes, etc. in order to get into the very best college and become what society defines as a successful adult.

We fought to keep him alive. And we failed.

On January 2, 2018, Logan lost his battle with bipolar depression and anxiety.

What we need to be teaching about mental illness is how teachers and administrators (or any adult authority figures) can recognize the signs of mental illness in the teens (and even tweens) that they interact with frequently. We need to give these kids a safe way to talk about their feelings without feeling judged. We need to engage them on their level and try to remember how difficult that time in our lives was and maybe give them a little grace. We need to dig deeper when a child is constantly disruptive or causing trouble.We need to talk openly and honestly about mental illness and it's devastating symptoms.

Until these things happen, until mental illness is recognized by society as a disease just like any other physical ailment, there will be a stigma attached. And that stigma will prevent sick children from getting the help they need and in some cases, will result in their death. And sometimes, as in our case, we can do everything in our power to help our child, and the disease still takes their life.

So instead of blaming parents and schools, let's empower them to recognize and help children suffering from mental illness.

Blessings,
Meri