It's a brand new year. Time for a fresh start, resolutions, and looking toward the future with unfettered enthusiasm.
But this year is different for me.
I remember 12 months ago saying I was ready to put 2014 to bed-it had been a tough year and I was ready to move on to the hope of 2015. But, in a conversation with a girlfriend at lunch over the holidays, I remarked that I felt the same way about 2015 to which she responded "Doesn't it seem like every year is like that as we get older?".
This remark caused me to think about the whole phenomenon of the new year.
Every year we gather together to ring in a new year. Resolutions are made, promises and hope for change in the upcoming 12 months. We determine to put away the mistakes of the past and take on new challenges.
This year I have decided to do none of that. After 2 years of hoping for better days in the coming months, I have decided that perhaps the changing of the date on the calendar is just that...another day in this journey of life.
I have been struggling with health issues for several years, but they seem to have come to a head in the past few months. Just before Christmas, I received a call from my doctor during which the dreaded "c-word" was mentioned. Truthfully, prior to this call it had never crossed my mind that I may be facing a cancer diagnosis at this stage in my life.
Before you jump into panic mode (as I did), please know that there is a very good possibility that the "spot" they found could be a benign polyp. But it could also be pre-cancerous tissue or even uterine cancer.
So rather than setting lofty goals for what I want to accomplish in 2016, I am determined to take each day and find the joy in the little things. Snuggling on the couch with my youngest, helping my oldest daughter braid her hair, watching funny videos with my teenage son.
I want to choose joy each and every day. I want to love deeply. I want to be okay with the fact that every day may not be a great day, but every day can have great moments. I will give myself grace. I will give others grace.
I will wish you a Happy New Year, but I will also wish for you the joy of ordinary days.