A Little About Me

It's been a while since I have posted on here, so in case you don't know my story...here are some of the basics.

I grew up in the same house in Virginia for 20 years. I met my husband in high school. We married when I was 22. We had our first child when I was 24. I wanted 3 children before I turned 30. We had our youngest child 6 months before my 30^th birthday.

We owned a home in Virginia. I had a good job. My husband owned successful business. We had 3 vehicles that we had detailed weekly. We had a housekeeper come every week. We remodeled our home. We hosted parties. We went to church.

 

And in 2009, we picked up and moved 300 miles away to North Carolina for my job.

We sold our house in Virginia and rented one in NC. My husband sold his business. We had no family near us and virtually no friends. We struggled and sacrificed those first few years in NC.

 

But if we had stayed in Virginia. Living our perfect life. The life everyone said we were supposed to live. We would be divorced by now.

 

In 2012, we built our dream home in a small, rural area of North Carolina. It was going to be our forever home. We both had good jobs again. Our children were in private school. We had the “American dream”.

 

In 2014 my husband lost his job. Later that year, I quit my toxic (despite the excellent pay) job with no back up plan. We started homeschooling. We lost our home. We moved 3 times in 2 years.

 

I found work as an independent contractor in 2015. My husband found another good job. We found a new home in 2017. We found a new circle of friends. Things were moving in the right direction again…right?

 

Nope. I was sick, very sick. Money was always tight, regardless of how hard we tried to budget and save. Our son was sick. Sicker than we ever understood. Less than 1 year after moving into our new home, he was gone. A bomb had gone off in our lives and nothing would ever be the same.

That was 3 years ago. 1/2/18.

 

But I have learned, slowly, to stop chasing that dream. That’s what I was really doing, trying to keep chasing the dream. The house, the family, the dogs (oh yeah, did I mention there are dogs...we are up to 3 now, but that’s another story….), the illusion of financial stability, the important career path, even our circle of friends.

 

My goal now is not to chase…money, people, jobs, approval, any of it. My goal is to slow down. Let life happen and play the had I have been dealt to the best of my ability. This is not a permanent place for me, but it what I need to do right now. I need the dust to settle so I can plan my next move hopefully applying some things I have learned from this roller-coaster life.