A Prayer for My Friend

Dear Lord,

My heart is broken today, Father.  My friend is hurting, physically and emotionally.  I want to take her pain away.  I want to give her peace.  But I know only You have that power, Lord.  You are the Great Physician, healer of hearts and bodies. 

Lord, You know her heart-she has a heart dedicated to You.  She has been such a light in  my life.  I am so thankful for her and her friendship.  She is truly a woman after Your heart, Heavenly Father.  Mother, sister, wife, friend....she embodies the love of Christ in all of these roles. 

I hurt for her, Father.  I can't bear to see and hear the pain she is in.  I can hear her heartbreak in her words, I can see the pain etched on her beautiful face.  Yet through all of this, she praises You, Father.  In the storms of life, she clings to You as her life-saver.  She continues to share Your love with those around her even when she barely has the strength to go on herself.

Heavenly Father, please grant peace and rest to my friend.  Heal her heart and body.  This is my plea to You, Lord.  Take away the pain that I cannot bear to see her in.  Heal her broken heart.  Restore her in the ways only You can.

Father God, I know You are able to heal all wounds.  I also know You have a plan for this sweet friend of mine.  I place my faith in You to grant peace to her and all those around her.  You plan is perfect, even if we cannot understand it right now. 

In Jesus Name, Amen.

Friendship: Post 1

Recently I signed up for an online Bible study on "10 Tips to Be the Friend You Wish You Had".  I have always been challenged in the area of making and keeping friends, especially when it comes to other women.  We are a complicated bunch and I have rarely had a connection with another woman that went beyond casual acquaintance.  I would like to share what I have learned in hopes that it will help someone else who possibly struggles with the same issues as I have.

"It always helps to show our imperfections and sometimes, the best way to be a friend is to scream a frantic 'HELP' and let those around us swoop into our rescue."

-Shannon Martin

Wait....what?!  I don't know about you, but that is the exact opposite of what I have been doing all my life.  I was always taught to "hide my crazy" and "act like a lady" in public.  My mother would admonish me to "be on my best behavior" when at a friend's house or out in public.  

Now-in defense of my upbringing-there is nothing wrong with being on our best behavior, and I have a beautiful, kind, God-fearing mother who loved me dearly and raised me well.  I am also not implying we should all stop teaching our children manners or expecting them to behave properly in public.  However, if this is not properly tempered with honest and open communication at home and encouragement to openly share our most intimate feelings in a safe environment as a child, it can lead to difficulty opening up to friends in adulthood.

In this age of social media and unlimited (and sometimes excessive) sharing of lives over the internet, we are often tempted to show the world our best and hide the rest.  Pictures of happy, smiling families cover marriages that are falling apart.  Check-ins and resorts and vacation spots hide families in crisis.  Again, I am not implying that we all go airing our dirty laundry on Facebook and Instagram, but I think, either inadvertently or by design, we simply want the world to see our best so we only post those things that reflect the good in our lives.

Sometimes, though, we just need help.  We need other women to come alongside us and pray for us, speak kind words to our hearts, listen to us as we crack under the immense pressure most of us face each and every day.  Sometimes we need more tangible help: financial help, child care, meals cooked, help with housework.  How can the people around us know that we may need these things when we are more concerned about putting on a pretty front than being honest about where we really are in life?

I have been blessed, in the past couple of months, to reconnect with some old friends and kindle new friendships with women from church and my community.  I pray over these friends regularly.  I ask God to strengthen the bonds that bind us together.  I pray for guidance on how I can be a better friend.  I am not afraid to be real and honest, and it has been a beautiful transformation.

The truth is, we all need help.  All of us, at some point (probably many times), will need the help of our friends.  So-take a risk, be honest, be transparent.  You may be surprised to learn that the friends you have are experiencing or have experienced the same thing you are going through.  That is God's beautiful and perfect plan!

Blessings,
Meri 

Broken Into Beautiful: Post 7

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." -Genesis 50:20

 

Joseph knew broken.  Sold by his own brothers into slavery, wrongly convicted of assaulting Potiphar's wife, forgotten by the king's cupbearer. He had cornered the market on broken.

But he is also an excellent example of God picking up the pieces of a broken life and restoring them into something even more beautiful than the original.  Joseph was redeemed by God and esteemed by the Pharaoh to a position of power that allowed him to save the lives of many people, including his own family.

God uses, and even needs our broken pieces-past scars, present sufferings, sinful past-to redefine our lives.  We do not have to be defined by these things, but we do have to let God use them to redeem us.  We are a constant work in progress. 

 

 

 

"Our restoration will be complete in the presence of God when we see Him face to face." 

-Gwen Smith

 

"When suffering shatters the carefully kept vase that is our lives, God stoops to pick up the pieces.  But He doesn't put them back together as a restoration project patterned after our former selves.  Instead, He sifts through the rubble and selects shards as raw material for another project-a mosaic that tells the story of redemption." 

-Ken Gire (The North Face of God)

 

What God has in store for us, what God can create from the broken pieces, is far more beautiful than anything we could possibly create on our own.

 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.

-Romans 8:28- 

The Truth of the Matter

So here is the truth.  I don't want to move.

Despite my upbeat excitement (for the most part) and positive attitude about the new house.  Despite the fact that I truly love the new house we will be renting.  Despite the fact that I knew this day was coming for many months now.  Despite the fact that God has been preparing my heart for this very moment.  Despite all of this, I am sad.

We built this home, designed it the way we wanted it specifically for our family.  We had plans to finish the upstairs, replace carpet with wood floors, paint more rooms, work on the landscaping, and just spend the next rest of our life making this house our home.

When we moved in, our youngest was 4....now she is a very smart and funny 7-year old.  For almost 3 years we have watched our children grow in this house.  We have hosted our family for Christmas each year since we moved in, and planned to do so for many years to come.

I know that this house is just that, a house....wood, drywall, stone, brick.  Nothing more.  I truly believe what I tell my children-home is anywhere we are all together.  My head knows this, but my heart just won't catch on.

It's little moments that are the hardest for me.  Folding laundry in my dream laundry room (I love doing laundry in there....I know, weird).  Going to bed in the first master bedroom we ever made a true sanctuary for ourselves (we always focused on other areas of the house first).  Putting clothes away in the girls bedroom.  Watching the kids jump on the trampoline in the backyard.

I believe that God has a plan for us and wants only good for us.  I am excited to start our lives in our new home, new city, new neighborhood.  I am excited to live missionally.  But I am hurting inside as well.  I am willing and ready to go where God leads, but it is hard and that's the truth of the matter.

Blessings,
Meri

Dirty Dishes

I was frustrated.  We needed groceries, but I do not have a car to go to the store while my husband is at work.  All of the dishes (well, it seemed like all) were dirty and piled in the sink.  The dishwasher hadn't been run last night, so it was just getting started.  It was rainy and gloomy...and so was my mood.

I started to type a text message to my husband to gently seek his support...okay, to whine.  But then I stopped.  There was a solution to this problem and it was in my grasp.  I chose to change the lens through which I was viewing my day.

I found frozen ground beef in the back freezer and the makings for spaghetti sauce in the pantry....dinner-done.  I then turned on my some worship music and gathered the girls to the kitchen.  I am blessed to have sweet girls that find washing dishes by hand fun (they also like making beds....shhhh, no one tell them this is work and maybe they will keep doing it!).  We started an assembly line of wash, dry, put away and sang along to the music while we chatted about all kinds of silly things.  It was the magic of ordinary.

Sometimes it just takes changing the lens through which we view a situation to change our whole day.  I chose to look at my day through the lens of God's blessings today, and it was a great change!

Blessings,
Meri

Names of God: Jehovah-Jireh (Yahweh-Yireh)

And Abraham called the name of that place “The Lord provides.” It is said to this day, “In the mountain of the Lord provision will be made.” 

Genesis 22:14

I love this name for my Heavenly Father.  One of the main roles in life of a father is to provide for his children, and the same is true for our Father in Heaven.  He is our provider of all things we need. 

I was blessed to grow up with a father who provided abundantly for our family.  He is wise and responsible with his finances and an excellent steward of what God has given him (sadly, that is apparently not a genetic trait I inherited).  I remember growing up both of my parents working very hard to teach me the difference between needs and wants...I tend to be a slow learner, so I still struggle with this despite the best efforts of my parents!  Our idea of what we need, is not always God's plan, but God's plan is always best.

In the almost 15 years of our marriage, Rick and I have struggled financially.  But somehow, through all of our ups and downs, God as always provided for us.  But, it is was not until the past few years that I truly understood the meaning of Jehovah-Jireh, the provider.  It is not only about providing for our daily living and physical needs; He provides comfort to the heartbroken, He provides friends to the lonely, He provides counsel through mentors and parents to those of us who seem to need constant counseling (guilty!), He restores relationships at the right moment.  He provides for ALL of our needs.

In the context of Genesis 22:14, Abraham is specifically referring to God's provision of the lamb for sacrifice in place of Isaac.  John Calvin interpreted this as "God not only looks upon those who are His, but also makes His help manifest to them."  Another interpretation of this reference is "Man's extremity is God's opportunity."

I can think of several situations in my life when God has made His help manifest to me.  A few years ago, not long after we moved to North Carolina, my husband and I were both working full-time and struggling with putting our children in day-care. (Please do not think this is a comment on dual-income families that utilize some form of childcare, we have been in all types of situations and have found that having a parent home is what works best for our family.  This by no means indicates that other options are unacceptable).  We made the decision that my husband would quit his job and pursue his education full-time while staying home with our 3 children.  It was a tough decision that would require sacrifice on our part, but it was important for us to have a parent home full-time.  On Sunday, Rick notified his boss he was quitting; on Monday, I got a job offer (completely out of the blue) that would increase my salary by 20%.  That was Jehoveh-Jireh providing!

I am thankful for my Heavenly Father, specifically in His role as the Great Provider, Jehoveh-Jireh.

Blessings,

Meri

Broken Into Beautiful-Post 6

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."
2 Corinthians 4:7-9

In the past 12 months, I have watched the American dream (new house, 2 nice cars, 2 good jobs, plenty of tech gadgets, etc.) that Rick and I worked 14 years to build, crumble down around me.  At first I desperately tried to save what I could, then I tried to figure out how to rebuild it.  I bargained, negotiated, searched desperately for a way back.

Finally, I surrendered it to God.  

"And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?'. Then I said, 'Here I am, send me!'."

Isaiah 6:8

For several years, since Rick started his journey towards a Bible degree (which he obtained May 2014 from Piedmont International University...and continues now towards his MBA from Liberty University), we have felt that our family had a future in ministry.  In the beginning of the journey, I thought I would become a supportive, loving wife of a man in full-time ministry.  Then we considered missions, and I prayed fervently we would be called to a mission field with running water and air conditioning.  As Rick continued his studies and then graduated we waited for direction.  And waited.  And waited some more.

During the waiting, I started to think...Am I really willing to go wherever God sends me?  Anywhere?  Even if there is no air conditioning?

And then the bottom fell out.  We had our answer.  Our mission field is wherever we are.  We don't have to wait for a mission board to approve and send us somewhere (not that there is anything wrong with that particular process).  

We are giving up our country house and moving to a more urban area.  We, as a family, will share the gospel with whomever we encounter.  We will live missionally by caring for friends, neighbors and anyone else we encounter.  We will show the love of Christ as we go about our daily lives.

Through trials God has brought me closer to Him.  I have learned lessons I could not learn under any other circumstances.

I want to stop pouring effort into building MY dream and start pouring out God's love to those around me.  I want to be done asking "What's in this for me?" and instead ask "Houw can God use me in this situation?".

"In all things, even the hard things, God is sovereign and can be trusted." -Gwen Smith

I am learning to trust Him wholly with my future, and my present.

"Being confident in God does not make the pain less deep, but less broad." -John Piper

One of my favorite verses that has been written on my heart for years now is Ephesians 3:20:

"Now unto him who is able to far more than all we ask or think, according to the power at work within us." 

 I love the promise of this verse, that God can take my wildest dreams and surpass them with His plans for me.

Blessings,

Meri