Study of Job: Just Show Up

I have learned the value of good friends, near and far, over my lifetime (aged and wise as I am). In more recent history, I have been blessed to have God reveal to me how important true friends are when you are struggling and how, within a circle of friends, each one brings something unique and special to the table.

Sometimes we need a friend to talk to and listen to us. Sometimes we need to listen for godly wisdom from our friends. And sometimes we just need silence.

First and foremost, I love how Job's friends respond to the tragedies in his life.

"Now when Job's three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, each on came from his own place." -Job 2:11a

Now, in the days before social media and cell phones, people were not nearly as "connected" as we are today. But, Job's friends knew he needed them, and they came. Sometimes, even in our overly-connected society today, we need friends to show up. Don't call, don't worry about whether or not it's the perfect timing, just show up...bringing ice cream is always a good idea, too.

In verse 12 we see that Job is so disfigured by boils and grief, that his friends do not even recognize him at first, but when they did, they immediately wept. 

"And when they raised their eyes from afar, and did not recognize him, they lifted their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe and sprinkled dust on his head toward heaven." 

-Job 2:12

They not only wept, they grieved for Job and his unimaginable losses. But what they did next is what we often overlook in friendship. They didn't give him advice, tell him to seek God's wisdom, tell him to curse God. They were silent.  They were silent for seven days and seven nights and did not leave his side.

Now, I don't know about you, but I usually can't be silent for 7 minutes, much less 7 days (those of you who knew me as a child are nodding right now).  Job clearly has some remarkable friends. I also have remarkable friends (although I am not sure any of them could be silent for 7 days and 7 nights, either). 

One of the best ways to be a good friend is to just show up. Job's friends did just that. Any of my friends that are reading this-showing up with treats is always a good idea as well....

Blessings,

Meri

Not Ever Again

A couple of months ago, I wrote a post entitled "Not Yet" about our struggle with secondary infertility and trying to understand God's plan for our family.

Well, it seems, His answer is actually "not ever again".

I won't go into the specifics, but God has made it clear that I will not have any more children that come from my own womb.

It's a fresh and raw pain right now and I am not sure how I feel about it yet. Well, that's not entirely true-I feel peaceful and grateful. Peaceful because I know we are making the right decision and grateful that this condition is not more serious and can be solved with a simple surgery.

I don't know if I will still feel this way after the surgery is done, but I do know one thing: God will love me and walk with me through this journey no matter how I feel. And He has blessed me greatly with a husband who will do the same.

I know that this is the end of a chapter in our lives, but not the closing of the whole book. I know that ending one chapter is necessary to begin a new one, a potentially better one. But I think all endings come with some feelings of grief and loss.

I also know that there are other ways to grow our family. My husband and I both come from families deeply ingrained in the miracle of adoption-me being adopted myself and Rick having an adopted brother. This has given us both a heart for adoption as well as a clear understanding of the challenges it entails.

We don't have the answers as to what this will look like for our family, but we do know that God's plan and His timing are perfect and we are willing. Right now we are just following His lead, one step at a time.

I love the psalmist's word choice here.."a lamp". I envision a lantern or maybe even something like a candle, lighting just the next step on the path. It is such a beautiful illustration of how our Heavenly Father works-we need not worry about what is 10 yards or 10 miles down the road for us, because He has already been there. Our future is a memory for Him. All we need to do is trust and keep our eyes fixed on Him.

Study of Job: An Excellent Wife, or Maybe Not

It's interesting that this month I am doing a series on the wisdom of Proverbs on Instagram and Facebook, posting a verse (or a few) from each chapter in Proverbs for the 31 days of July.

There is so much in Proverbs focused on wisdom and how it applies to marriage. One of the verses I posted a few days ago was Proverbs 12:4.

I don't know about you, but I would much rather be a crown of my husband than bring hi shame and be like rottenness in his bones! (Don't worry, this will all tie in by the end of the post, just file this away in your mental memory for now).

In the first part of Chapter 2, we see Satan gathered again with God. Again, Satan is attempting to provoke God by upping the ante on Job's righteousness. The enemy says to God, "Skin for skin! Yes, all that a man has he will give for his life. But, stretch out Your hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will surely curse You to Your face!" (Job 2:4b-5).

Again, I am going to compare this to a parent-child relationship (I really have to stop using my children as an analogy for Satan).

I think it is important to note that in both Job 1:11 and Job 2:5 Satan challenges God to reach out and cause destruction and devastation in Job's life and both times God gives him just enough rope to hang himself. God is not driving the devastation in Job's life, Satan is. God simply let Satan have his way, like an unruly child, knowing all along what the outcome would be. I believe it was God's way of showing Satan just how limited his knowledge and powers are and how great and mighty are the powers of the Lord.

So Job is now afflicted with boils from the "sole of his foot to the crown of his head" (Job 2:7b).

Medicine.net defines boils as "deep, localized skin infections that begin as reddened sore areas". Sounds fun, right? (I thought about including a picture here, but figure that might cause digestive issues for some of you).

Having dealt with a chronic illness for several years now, I understand the high value of good health. I have cried out to God to take away the pain, exhaustion, and other issues related to my illness. I have questioned Him, the Great Physician, as to why He won't heal me when I know He can. "Why me, Lord?" is the cry of my heart.

But Job did something different.

"And he took for himself a potsherd with which to scrape himself while he sat in the midst of the ashes." Job 2:8

While I have not tried this particular treatment-I have, recently, determined that my life with chronic illness is never going to be the same as my life before chronic illness. I can, however, choose to control the things in my life that are still within my grasp, namely my faith and trust in Jehoveh Rapha, the Lord who Heals. I can also treat the body that He has granted me with more respect and fill it full of His good things both physically and mentally.

One thing that I see in this chapter that was not revealed to me in my youth is the role of Job's wife. Once her husband is physically afflicted, her sage and loving advice is to "curse God and die" (Job 2:9b).

Now, I am sure Mrs. Job is a lovely lady and is likely just frustrated by the sudden paradigm shift in her formerly stable and comfortable life. But Job does not cut her any slack, "You speak as one of the foolish women speak. Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?" (Job 2:10b).

Well. There ya have it.

He made it clear that she was, as we say in the South, "showing out" and she needed to "put her big girl panties on a deal with it." So now, refer back to the beginning of the post (feel free to scroll up if this has already fallen out of your memory as frequently happens to me). Mrs. Job was not a crown to her husband here! On top of losing all of his material possessions and children and now covered with boils, he is afflicted by a wife who brings him shame. I am pretty sure Satan saw this as an added bonus to his devious tricks.

The last sentence of verse 10 proves, once again, that Satan's power is all smoke and mirrors. The enemy has no real power over us, only what God allows. God is power. He doesn't have power, He flows with it, produces it, burns with it.

"In all this, Job did not sin with his lips."

-Job 2:10b-

I don't know about you, but when I am in pain or stressed, I sin with my lips. I am short-tempered, I am snarky, and I lash out at those closest to me. I am not Job. But God loves me, just as He loved Job. His grace is sufficient to cover the sin of my lips. His grace repairs the damage and heals the wounds (not always completely as there are consequences to my actions). His grace restores me. His grace is power.

Blessings,

Meri

Study of Job: Blessed Be the Name of the Lord

In the past year, we have lost our jobs, our home, one car, and most of all our sense of security (namely because that sense of security was misplaced in the things of this world).  I have, throughout this journey and time of loss, tried to keep my eyes fixed on the Lord and recognize that He is simply pruning the vine to reveal new and healthy growth.

But there have been times I have failed. Miserably.

I wanted my home back. I wanted a second car (not the infamous white mini-van, though...but that's another story). I wanted the sense of security (false as it was) that having a comfortable, steady, reliable income brought. There were times I was angry with God. There were times I felt He had abandoned me. I acted out like a child.

By the end of Chapter 1 in Job, this man, this "blameless and upright man" (Job 1:8b), had lost just about everything. His children, his livelihood, part of his home. And he was devastated. He "tore his robe, and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped" (Job 1:20).

What, what?!  He did what?!

He worshiped.

He worshiped his Heavenly Father. He worshiped the One Who Sees, El Roi. He worshiped his Lord Provider, Jehoveh Jireh.

Now many of us are familiar with the last part of this scripture "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord" (Job 1:21b).

But there is so much more to be had from these two simple verses.

"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return there." (Job 1:21a). This is a man who recognizes his true status in life. This is a man who understands who he really is and what defines him-and it is NOT his possessions. We live in a society that defines value by numbers-salary, credit score, square feet in your house, how many cars, weight, BMI. But God tells us, through Job's story, that these things mean absolutely nothing. We did not come into this world with anything and we cannot take anything with us when we are done with this world.

The familiar words following these (Job 1:21b) remind us where all that we have comes from. Again, we live in a society that prides itself on great gain and the ability to "make our dreams come true". The American Dream is a large, spacious home, several cars, at least a 6-figure salary, etc. and we can attain this if we just work hard enough.

 But that is an illusion. All of these things are nothing compared to God and none of these things are ours to enjoy save for His grace-including, as Job sadly found out, our children.  One of God's greatest gifts is barely a blip on society's radar anymore. Material possessions are far more prized than children and family....but I digress (stay tuned...you will probably see more about this in an upcoming post).

"Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God." (Job 1:22). The despair I felt at our losses over the past year was, in my book at least, epic. I have never felt so empty and afraid, lost and lonely. I zeroed in on the "and the Lord has taken away" part of these verses and totally disregarded the "the Lord gave" and "blessed be the name of the Lord" parts.

I was an angry little girl whose Daddy had taken away her toys. I was certain God was punishing me for something.  But wait...Job was "blameless and upright" and he had it far worse than me. Suddenly my entire understanding of who God is and how He relates to and loves me changed. That confused, hurt, angry teenage girl that was convinced we were all just God's puppets was starting to see that He wanted me-broken, hurting, outcast, me.

I was wanted. Job was wanted. You are wanted.

Sometimes to understand that concept, God has to strip every distracting thing away so that all that we have left is Him. And once we have Him, we will never want anything else.

Blessings,
Meri

Study of Job: In the Beginning

When I was a senior in high school, I had to write a persuasive paper for my AP English class (please note I included the "AP" to show you what a smarty I was). I was at a place in my life where I was questioning the faith I had grown up with, so I chose the book of Job to write on. Specifically, to show how this book reveals God's true nature as a puppet-master and we are just His playthings. (I got an A+ on the paper, by the way....see, Smarty McSmarterson right here).

I was in a place of insecurity of not only who God was but who I was to Him and who He was in me. I had a boring testimony-still do, for the most part. Raised in a Southern Baptist church, sang in children's choir, went to VBS, saved at age 10, participated in youth group, sang in youth choir....you get the point. But I had never known hunger for the Lord. I had never known need, I was blessed and hedged in by my Heavenly Father. I was Job.

Now reading this book again, after discovering my faith on a whole new level and experiencing that hunger, that longing, that need for God because I have absolutely nothing else to cling to, I am seeing Job in a whole new way, through the lens of my ever-growing faith.

The first thing I notice about this book is that Satan asks an awful lot of questions. You know that saying "It's rude to answer a question with another question?"--apparently Satan missed that memo. Also note that the entire fall of man in the Garden started with a question from Satan:

"And he said to the woman, "Has God indeed said,'You shall not eat of every tree of the garden?"

Remember how that turned out? Not good.

In this case, God is pointing out to Satan how faithful His servant Job is, He says "Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, one who fears God and shuns evil?" (Job 1:8a). Satan responds, "Does Job fear God for nothing?".  There we go, answering a question with a question, Emily Post would have a fit (not in public, of course).

I think this is revealing, not only of Satan's nature, but of sinful nature in general. 

It's like trying to teach our 13 year old son how to behave in his changing mind and body. We welcome questions, but expect respect. Our Heavenly Father welcomes our questions, because it means we are communicating with Him which He wholly desires and encourages. But He expects respect at the same time. There is a time and place for questioning our Lord God and a proper way to respond to His answers.  Satan lacks this basic understanding and respect (as we often do as well) like an unruly 13 year old child. (Okay, I think I may have just compared my son to Satan, which was NOT my intention. Hopefully you get that).

The next verse in Job 1 that catches my attention is God's response to Satan's snarky question. He doesn't lose His temper and send Satan back to hell to think about what he did wrong. He didn't take away Satan's toys or put him in time out. He engaged. 

Satan says to our Lord "But now, stretch out Your hand and touch all that he has, and he will surely curse You to Your face!" (Job 1:11). I think the punctuation here is very important. This is an exclamation, Satan is yelling at God. Are you kidding me? Yelling? At God? I.can't.even. (Oh wait-maybe I have done that a time or two myself.). But God replies in His calm, quiet way "Behold that all he has is in your (Satan's) power; only do not lay a hand on his person" (Job 1:12a).

When I wrote that paper all those years ago (we won't talk about how many), I missed this. I missed that God did nothing to Job. Job was not God's puppet with strings being pulled by His holy hands. God simply allowed Satan to throw his tantrum, to try to prove his point, knowing all along what the outcome would be, that He would be victorious through Job's faithfulness.

I have struggled with understanding this concept for the better part of my adult life. So many of us (believers and non-believers) "Why do good things happen to the faithful if God is in complete control?". I still do not understand all of it completely and may not until I meet my Father in heaven and then it probably will be moot. The answer I have for now is that not all things on this earth and in this life are of God. There is evil at work and it's name is Satan. God does not want puppets, He wants His children to choose to follow Him because they desire a close, personal relationship. 

The best illustration I have come across regarding this relationship with our Heavenly Father is the image of a father walking with his young child who is just learning to walk. The child stumbles and falls and the father immediately scoops them up in his arms to comfort them. The father did not cause the child to stumble and fall, there was an obstacle, perhaps a rock or stick, that brought that child to their knees. But, the father was right there to pick the child up. Always there. Always waiting. That is our Heavenly Father.

Blessings,

Meri

Sugar Detox Week 3: Complete (Sort Of)

I could give you a list of excuses as to why this week didn't go so well on the Sugar Detox:

• 2 ER visits
• 3 doctor appointments
• Dinner date night with my hubs (very rare-so we splurged)
• Eating out more because of our abnormally hectic schedule

But the truth is, that life happens. If we are going to make these changes and stick with this plan to improve our overall health, I have to be able to maintain my balance even in the rough waters of life. Next week could have just as many unexpected things in store, but I am finding that when I do "cheat" and drink or eat something full of refined sugars, I feel sick and tired (even more than I already do) afterward.

So while this week's specific goal is.......wait for it.......NO MORE REFINED WHITE SUGAR (wait, what?!!!), we will still be working on cutting out refined white flour as well.

This week we will also be giving up soda completely...dining out, dining in, at homes of friends-completely. (My family may commit mutiny, so if you don't hear from me for a few weeks, you may want to have the police do a wellness check to make sure they haven't tied me up and force fed me sugar-laden deliciousness).

We have significantly reduced our "sweets" intake. While the detox calls to cut out all desserts and sweets, I am not a proponent of completely denying all of a particular food group, especially one as yummy as dessert. I feel this will lead to more "cheat" days which, in too much abundance, defeat the purpose of this lifestyle change. So we will be limiting desserts and making them only "good" sugars, but will not be eliminating them completely.

I wouldn't call this past week an epic fail, but it was not the best week we have had so far.  The one victory I am clinging to is that I have not run to food to heal my hurts (emotional or physical). I have turned to my husband, my friends, and most importantly my God to help me through these struggles this week and I pray I continue to do so as it is so much more effective than trying to make the pain stop with junky foods.

Stay tuned....
Meri

Diversion Tactics

Confederate flags pulled from official buildings in South Carolina.

Bakers fined for refusing to bake a cake for a same-sex wedding.

FB pictures, the White House, and other places turned into colors of the rainbow.

Did Hilary Clinton pose in a picture with the Confederate flag in the background?

Comedians asked to change their show because it may be "offensive" (have you heard some of these people...offensive doesn't even begin to describe their sets, but that is another topic)

I have struggled to filter these issues through the gospel and have yet to find the answer. But then I realized...maybe these are not the real issues and that is why there are no real answers.

For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope;  because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.  For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now.

Romans 8:19-22

Y'all. The whole of creation does not groan because of flags and cakes and photos taken in a different time. These are not the issues, but the enemy would like us to believe they are.

While we are taking a stand on whether or not the Confederate flag should continue to be flown-9 families in Charleston are mourning the loss of a loved one in a violent attack. Do you know their names, who they were? That is the real issue, not a piece of cloth that represents different thins to different people.

Clementa Pinckney, 41  

Tywanza Sanders, 26

Cynthia Hurd, 54

Sharonda Coleman-Singleton, 45

Mary Thompson, 59

Ethel Lee Lance, 70

Daniel Simmons, 74

DePayne Middleton-Doctor, 49

Susie Jackson, 87

These are the names of the people that lost their lives. In a church. Worshiping a Mighty God. Not because of a piece of cloth, not because of what the Confederate flag represents; but, because a young man allowed himself to be used as a tool of the enemy. Satan used this young man not just to end those 9 lives and cause grief in he lives of their friends and family, but to divide a nation and to distract us from what is really happening in our nation, and in our world.

Bigotry is defined by Dictionary.com as "stubborn and complete intolerance of any creed, belief or opinion that differs from one's own." (emphasis added).

I am going to try not to get personal here, but it is my blog so.....

I am of the opinion that same-sex marriage and homosexuality is sinful. I also believe abortion is wrong, and murder. To many, this makes me a bigot. If you are one of those people...feel free to stop reading my blogs and if we are friends on FB, click that "unfriend" button with all the righteous indignation you can muster into one finger.

I am not a bigot. I do not judge those whose opinion differs from mine. I welcome differing opinions and the respectful discussion of said opinions. I am not intolerant of your belief if it differs from mine...it is just not my belief.

Be cautious, my friends, we are being distracted by small and insignificant molehills that are being into mountains to prevent us from seeing what is really happening to this country.

But that is simply my opinion...

Blessings,

Meri