The End of a Dream and the Beginning of Something Better

"Only 2 more sleeps, mommy!"

I am so thankful my youngest child is so excited to move to a new house.  In fact, since we started decorating and moving boxes over, all 3 of my children have become more excited about this new chapter in our lives.

So why did the excited words of my sweet Kenzie cause a sudden, sharp ache in my heart?

I have wandered through each room of the dream house we built with plans to live in it for at least 30 years.  I have touched the walls and remembered the excitement of the days we spent planning, watching it be built, and then moving in.  I look at the fireplace that was a complete surprise, and think-there will be no more fires there for us.  I think about how tomorrow I will likely take my last shower in my huge master bathroom that I loved dearly.  I haven't even wanted to cook in my kitchen that I designed down to the knobs on the drawers and cabinets.  I watch as pieces of our lives here leave forever-the piano sold because we don't have space for it, a couch donated because we can only take 1 with us.  The front rooms are mostly empty now, the kitchen table broken down, the air hockey table disassembled...both ready to be loaded on the truck on Saturday and taken to our new home.

I know God is refining and pruning our lives to bear more fruit.  My head realizes that this house had become an idol to at least me, if not my whole family.  But my heart hurts, not for the loss of the brick and mortar, but for the loss of the dreams and plans we had thought we would live out within these walls.  My heart hurts for my children who don't understand words like mortgage, short sale, and foreclosure-and shouldn't have to.

This last week in this house has been painful, cathartic, peaceful, and sad.  But we are ready.  Ready to move forward, ready to open our hearts and lives to whatever God has for us, ready to leap into the unknown with a known God.

Blessings,
Meri

Dear Advertisers

After being sick today and spending more than the usual amount of time watching TV commercials, I have a few things to say to the advertisers of some very popular and well-known products.

Dear AT&T-
Men are not idiots.  They are capable of taking care of their children (please note-it is not "babysitting" when they are YOUR CHILDREN) while Mom is away on a business trip.  Husbands do not need their wives to manage them from afar by opening the door for the dog-walker, closing the garage door, spying to make sure the kids went to bed on time, or setting the alarm.  I can say all of this with confidence because I was that Mom, the one that traveled overnight for work.  Not once did I come home to a disaster that was due to an incompetent, bumbling husband.  In face, on most occasions, I came home to a clean home, clean children, and a freshly prepared meal.

Dear Doritos-
Moms are not domestic slaves and we do not want to be portrayed as such.  Their is honor and respect in being a homemaker, wife and mother.  It is an all-consuming, never-ending and eternally rewarding calling.  To refer to it as a job, would be diminishing the importance of this role in life.  While we are often the chief procurement officer of the home and often do our "procuring" in the proverbial "grocery getter", it should not be portrayed as the exception to the rule that our children help with the unloading and putting away of groceries.  Believe me, if I asked one of my children to assist with this task and received the response to my inquiry "Can I get some help with these groceries?" of "I don't know, can you?", not only would my child NOT be eating Doritos in the foreseeable future, they would not be seeing the light of day...possibly until the Second Coming.  Portraying disrespect towards parents is a poor advertising choice and sets a terrible example for our youth.

Dear Hardee's/Carl's Jr.-
Women do not want to buy food modeled by scantily-clad, over-sexed, sloppy-eating women.  Watching a skin-and-bones bikini model shove a gigantic burger into her mouth as if she was performing some sort of sordid sex act is not only distasteful, it is disgusting.  What makes it more disgusting is that this commercial is run regularly during programming appropriate for my pre-teen son.  Thankfully, my son has been well-trained in the respect of women and modesty and recognizes this for what it is-trashy and low-brow.  He usually asks us to change the channel when this commercial comes on.

Dear Drano-
I do not need, nor have I ever seen, half-dressed, overly-sexualized men to come "unclog my drain".  I have a husband who is perfectly capable (interpret that as you will) and am also capable of pouring drain-cleaning liquid down a clogged pipe without selling my soul for a sexy plumber.  Again, the sexual references in this commercial are so thinly-veiled, you may as well have shown them going to bed together-after all, marriage vows are hardly sacred any more, right?

Thank you for taking the time to read these and I look forward to seeing improved and more appropriate commercials in the near future because I know you care what I think (insert sarcasm here).

Sincerely,
Frustrated Consumer

Still Moving

So yesterday we continued to move boxes and such over to the new house.  The plan was for the cable installation to happen as well, but it did not and that is a story for another time (possibly when I am capable of relaying the story without the use of sentence enhancers).

The big work was done in the bathrooms.  This was my opportunity to change up the colors we have used in our bathrooms for the past 15 years-usually blue in the spare bath and sage green and taupe in the master bath.  We did make some purchases for this mini-remodel, but kept to a great budget for making over 2 bathrooms.

Upstairs the bathroom will mostly be used by our (almost) 13-year old son, Logan.  It was already painted a pale teal/cyan color, so I went with a bright, multicolored shower curtain so that I could incorporate some of the bright colors he is fond of (okay, the kid dresses like a traffic cone...just sayin').  The shower is in it's own little alcove, so up went the shower curtain and then I selected a bright orange absorbent rug for just outside the shower.

The next area to tackle was the rather spacious area by the sink.  I selected a colorful patterned rug to brighten up the space and a teal basket to hold spare toilet paper (trust me...there is never enough spare toilet paper when you have an (almost) teenager!).  I love the light in this space, it makes the bathroom seem much bigger than it really is.

Finally, I re-purposed the "over-the-toilet" shelf unit to hang hand towels and added an orange basket underneath to hold spare towels.  Eventually I plan to replace this with a sturdier piece of furniture or at least re-finish with some bright paint and add some decorative items.

Next we moved onto the downstairs bath-which will be shared by the girls and Rick and I as well as most guests...sadly, I thought by this age, I would rate my own bath!!!




I love the color combinations of yellow/black/gray/taupe and with the yellow tub and sink area as well as original black border tiles on the floor, I thought this would be a great place to use this.  I selected a boldly patterned shower curtain that tied in most of the colors I liked and then selected simple white towels with yellow and gray borders.  I choose a black basket to store toilet paper (I read somewhere once that every room should have something black as at draws your eye and anchors the room-this also served the purpose of drawing your eye to the beautiful black tile).  I also selected a patterned absorbent bathroom rug in the same yellow that is on the shower curtain.  I love the way the patterns and colors complement rather than compete in this space.  Next step will be to add some artwork to the limited wall space and maybe a couple of decorative items to the small counter area.

 After finishing the bathrooms, I decided to get some pictures of some of the more charming hardware in the house.  There is an eclectic mix of knobs, pulls, switch-plates, and outlet covers throughout the house.  Here are some of my favorites.

Rick continues to drop off a few things and check on the house during his lunch hour this week, but the next big moving day will be Saturday!  We are so excited to get the furniture in the house and start making it our home, and I look forward to sharing this process with you!



Blessings,
Meri

Defenses Down

The lies of the enemy slip quietly into my life.  They do not roar in like a violent storm, they do not come with a trumpet's fanfare or any type of warning.  They come when I am weak, worn, and my defenses are down.  Much like a virus attacking the body of an immune-compromised person-the very young, the elderly, those whose immune systems are weakened by chemotherapy or radiation.  The lies enter quietly, usually without me even noticing, and slowly start to take over every cell of my being.

Lately, my defenses have been down-moving, physical pain, emotional struggles, financial troubles, stress-all of these things have left me worn and weary.  And Satan has been paying attention, looking for opportunities to plant another lie in my susceptible mind.

No one cares about you and your problems. 
I have seen several friends going through troubles on social media and have seen their prayers answered.  Friends and family have covered them in prayer and raised funds and publicly lifted them up.  I and I have been jealous.  The lie of the enemy that I am less worthy, that I don't have people that care as much as they do, that I am not valued, has imbedded itself and taken hold.  But God's word reminds me that my value, my WHOLE value is in Him.

You aren't important to your husband.
It has been a tough path we have walked for the past couple of years and I am so thankful to have walked it with my husband.  But even in the best marriages (and ours is still a work in progress), we sometimes make the mistake of turning on one another rather than to one another in times of difficulty.  Again, the enemy has taken advantage of my low reserves and planted the lies of doubt and anger in my heart-misdirected at the one person who is my greatest ally here on earth.  "He doesn't manage your money well", "He doesn't pay enough attention to you", "He puts work and school and so many other things above you".  All are lies, but my heart was listening and believing these to be true.  But I again turned to God's word and found the reminder I needed to know that Rick is on my side, loves me dearly, and could never do anything to hurt me.

I am sure there will always be times when I am susceptible to the lies of the enemy.  My heart is human and easily hurt, but I know I only have to seek the words of my Heavenly Father to find the truth, and the truth is I am deeply loved by the Maker of All Things!

Blessings,
Meri

Starting to Move

We are so excited to have gotten the keys to our new home on Friday, May 1, 2015!  While it is a bittersweet and somewhat difficult move, we have worked hard to move past the discouragement and difficult circumstances surrounding the loss of our home in Stokesdale and embrace our new life in Winston-Salem. 

This new life comes with some things that are entirely different than what we have been accustomed to.  Whereas our home in Stokesdale was built just for us, and we were the first to ever live in it, our new home is over 80 years old and has many, many occupants.  Along with the age of the home comes so many adorable and custom features-built-in china cabinets in the dining room, original hardwood floors, arched doorways, antique doorknobs, and so much more.

I am so very blessed to have china from my husband's mother's family.  While I also have a set of china that was my grandmother's that I received as a wedding gift, I feel the china from my mother-in-law is much more in keeping with the time period and design of our home, so I have chosen to make that a focal point in our dining room.  It is the first time in many years we have been able to display any of our fine china and I am honored to have a piece of my mother-in-law in our home.

We do have a bit of a challenge with the kitchen in our new home.  The space (both counter, floor and cabinet) in our new kitchen is about 1/2 (maybe less) than that of our old house.  That being said, there are some wonderfully unique features in our new kitchen.  Since we have a full dining room, we have decided to use the "eat-in" area of the kitchen for a "coffee nook"-an area where we will have our coffee pot, mugs, varieties of coffee and tea and other accessories that would normally take up precious counter space.

The last area we worked on this weekend was the living room.  I love the built-in bookcase next to the fireplace (which sadly is non-functioning) as well as the beautiful light from the large windows.  We have started to add some books and pictures to the bookcase and I have been working on the design for the mantle.  We have lots of options for pictures and accessories, so it is still a work in progress, but I am hopeful to have it completed in the next couple of weeks.

We also met some sweet neighbors today while the girls were playing outside.  So excited to find out that our neighbor, Darlene, has 3 grandchildren that are the same ages as our 3 children!  We are looking forward to building meaningful relationships with our neighbors and hopefully shine the light of Christ in our neighborhood.




I look forward to sharing more of our moving journey with you in the coming days and weeks.

Blessings,
Meri

Friendship: Post 6

"Even the most independent-and certainly the most isolated-among us need community.  Never fail to express the simple but powerful message: I'm thinking of you.

-Dawn Camp

We need community.  We are social creatures that need interaction with one another to fulfill God's purpose for our lives.  Social media has revolutionized and hindered this process.  We are now able to stay in touch more than ever before; but we also spend less time with one another than ever before.  Gone are the days when women would meet over a cup of tea to chat and take a break from their busy day.  Even phone calls have been replaced by text messages.  Neighborhood get-togethers have been replaced by Facebook parties.

¹⁵ Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, ¹⁶ from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

-Ephesians 4:15-17

In this passage in Ephesians, the community of believers is referred to as the body of Christ.  A body needs to be joined together, touching, feeling, listening to one another to function properly.

Knowing you have a friend thinking of you, caring for you and loving you renews the spirit and refreshes the soul.  We need this human connection to reset and refocus when life becomes difficult and frustrating.  Knowing we are not alone in our struggles is a gift from God.

So reach out to a friend today.  Remind them you care, you are thinking of them, and you love them.

Blessings,
Meri

 

Identity Crisis

I read the e-mail with a sense of anticipation and excitement. "Please add me to your LinkedIn contacts-I have an AR Director position you may be interested in, please call me".  I immediately picked up the phone and called the number listed in the e-mail.

32 buildings, 6 states, extensive travel, significant compensation (more than I have ever made).  For a family that is struggling financially, it seemed to be a gift from God.

Or was it?

Over the past few months, God has led me (and our family) down a path of refinement and reduction.  He has revealed that this "American Dream" of more money and more material belongings is only an illusion.  We have been committed to pursuing a different life, a life emptied of the things of this world so that it may be filled with God.

So why was I so easily caught back in that trap of finding my identity in a job?  Why did my heart skip a beat at the idea of having the title of "AR Director"?  How did I so quickly forget that my identity is entirely defined by my relationship with Jesus Christ?

I asked for prayer and I have such sweet friends that dropped what they were doing and immediately petitioned God on my behalf; praying for wisdom in making this decision and praying that not only would I seek God's guidance, but that I would follow His guidance, even if it was not what I expected or desired.

Suddenly, I realized what I would be sacrificing for a 6-figure salary and self-important title.  Mornings making breakfast for my kids, watching them grow and learn through the homeschooling process, being available to my family when they need me to kiss boo-boos, heal hurting hearts, or just be silly and fun.  I would be sacrificing my home, the time I have to take care of the space where we do life to make it pleasant and welcoming.  Not to mention, I would be sacrificing my health-travel and stress cause major problems with my fibromyalgia and ME/CFS, which then takes time away from my family.

While the world would see the choice as obvious-a good-paying job is a great solution for a family struggling to make ends meet; God reminds me that I am not of the world.  His plans are always better.  He has always provided, even through this period of struggle, and I know He will continue to provide.

Blessings,
Meri