Friday, May 1, 2015
32 buildings, 6 states, extensive travel, significant compensation (more than I have ever made). For a family that is struggling financially, it seemed to be a gift from God.
Or was it?
Over the past few months, God has led me (and our family) down a path of refinement and reduction. He has revealed that this "American Dream" of more money and more material belongings is only an illusion. We have been committed to pursuing a different life, a life emptied of the things of this world so that it may be filled with God.
So why was I so easily caught back in that trap of finding my identity in a job? Why did my heart skip a beat at the idea of having the title of "AR Director"? How did I so quickly forget that my identity is entirely defined by my relationship with Jesus Christ?
Suddenly, I realized what I would be sacrificing for a 6-figure salary and self-important title. Mornings making breakfast for my kids, watching them grow and learn through the homeschooling process, being available to my family when they need me to kiss boo-boos, heal hurting hearts, or just be silly and fun. I would be sacrificing my home, the time I have to take care of the space where we do life to make it pleasant and welcoming. Not to mention, I would be sacrificing my health-travel and stress cause major problems with my fibromyalgia and ME/CFS, which then takes time away from my family.
While the world would see the choice as obvious-a good-paying job is a great solution for a family struggling to make ends meet; God reminds me that I am not of the world. His plans are always better. He has always provided, even through this period of struggle, and I know He will continue to provide.