Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Dear Advertisers

After being sick today and spending more than the usual amount of time watching TV commercials, I have a few things to say to the advertisers of some very popular and well-known products.

Dear AT&T-
Men are not idiots.  They are capable of taking care of their children (please note-it is not "babysitting" when they are YOUR CHILDREN) while Mom is away on a business trip.  Husbands do not need their wives to manage them from afar by opening the door for the dog-walker, closing the garage door, spying to make sure the kids went to bed on time, or setting the alarm.  I can say all of this with confidence because I was that Mom, the one that traveled overnight for work.  Not once did I come home to a disaster that was due to an incompetent, bumbling husband.  In face, on most occasions, I came home to a clean home, clean children, and a freshly prepared meal.

Dear Doritos-
Moms are not domestic slaves and we do not want to be portrayed as such.  Their is honor and respect in being a homemaker, wife and mother.  It is an all-consuming, never-ending and eternally rewarding calling.  To refer to it as a job, would be diminishing the importance of this role in life.  While we are often the chief procurement officer of the home and often do our "procuring" in the proverbial "grocery getter", it should not be portrayed as the exception to the rule that our children help with the unloading and putting away of groceries.  Believe me, if I asked one of my children to assist with this task and received the response to my inquiry "Can I get some help with these groceries?" of "I don't know, can you?", not only would my child NOT be eating Doritos in the foreseeable future, they would not be seeing the light of day...possibly until the Second Coming.  Portraying disrespect towards parents is a poor advertising choice and sets a terrible example for our youth.

Dear Hardee's/Carl's Jr.-
Women do not want to buy food modeled by scantily-clad, over-sexed, sloppy-eating women.  Watching a skin-and-bones bikini model shove a gigantic burger into her mouth as if she was performing some sort of sordid sex act is not only distasteful, it is disgusting.  What makes it more disgusting is that this commercial is run regularly during programming appropriate for my pre-teen son.  Thankfully, my son has been well-trained in the respect of women and modesty and recognizes this for what it is-trashy and low-brow.  He usually asks us to change the channel when this commercial comes on.

Dear Drano-
I do not need, nor have I ever seen, half-dressed, overly-sexualized men to come "unclog my drain".  I have a husband who is perfectly capable (interpret that as you will) and am also capable of pouring drain-cleaning liquid down a clogged pipe without selling my soul for a sexy plumber.  Again, the sexual references in this commercial are so thinly-veiled, you may as well have shown them going to bed together-after all, marriage vows are hardly sacred any more, right?

Thank you for taking the time to read these and I look forward to seeing improved and more appropriate commercials in the near future because I know you care what I think (insert sarcasm here).

Frustrated Consumer