Monday, April 13, 2015

Friendship: Post 2

"The cure for loneliness is 'going first'.  We need to be the friend we desire to have.
-Jennifer Dukes Lee

I hate being the first to arrive at anything, but I always seem to be the first one ready because I also hate to be late!  Usually I get somewhere first and then wait in my car or somewhere else until a couple of other people have arrived.  I hate to be late for the same reason I don't want to be first-I don't want to garner any extra attention (those of you who knew me growing up may find this hard to believe).

Sometimes going first is scary...but sometimes it is necessary.  I have lost relationships or failed to move forward in relationships by waiting on the other person to make the next move.  I have used the excuse of "if they really wanted to be friends, they would call me" not entertaining the thought that they may feel the same way of me.  This comes from my absolute lack of self-confidence and a serious case of social anxiety/awkwardness.  I am terrified of rejection and I believe most people are as well, at least to some degree.

Recently, however, I have found it necessary and rewarding to be the one to "go first".  Since becoming a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) a few months ago and also not having a car available to use during the week (we have down-sized to 1 vehicle for now), I have found it necessary to reach out to my fellow SAHMs to have interaction for both my children and myself.

When I was in fifth grade, my teacher required that we bring in a quote from a famous person periodically.  I would always forget mine and default to the only one I could remember, "A friend is a present you give yourself" (I do not remember the author of the quote, but I believe it was anonymous-feel free to correct me if I am wrong).  While this aggravated my teacher to no end, the quote makes a good point.  We have the power (to some extent) to build or destroy relationships.  Keeping in touch is an important part of friendship and we need to be willing to be the one to reach out.

Going first still scares me and I often wonder if I am annoying people when I reach out, but I push forward because I need friends.  God created us to be social creatures; we need each other to lift us up, help each other out, pray for one another and love one another.

So take a risk, reach out, go first-you won't regret it!