Monday, June 22, 2015

Home & Hope

Home is where the heart is.

Home is where we go to feel safe.

Home is where we can relax and feel good.

But what happens when it isn't?

I remember when I used to travel for work.  I hated to travel for work. I hated the airport, the plane, the rental car, the hotel. But most of all, I hated being away from my family. However, I could do all of these things because I knew they were temporary.  I knew that after a few days, I would be home.  That safe place surrounded by people I love where I could relax and feel good.

So what happens when home feels hard and lonely and broken? How do I survive the difficult parts of life, do the difficult things, with no safe place to land?

 (My childhood home in Virginia Beach)

This started out to be a post about how desperate I was am. It was a rough few days last week. I have been in a dark place (and I am not entirely sure I have left it completely behind). I felt abandoned. By God, by people, by family.

But then God showed up. Not in a big way, not on a white horse or with a bag of money, not even with a winning lottery ticket (I guess you have to play to win, right?!).

God came near in a series of little ways, some of which we are still trying to figure out what they mean and where they will lead. A kind word from a friend, connecting with old friends, encouraging words from Momma, shoulders to cry on and that help carry our burdens.

And hope.

I wanted to post about how hopeless I was and how I felt God had turned His face from me. But He is the author and finisher of this story, and that is not part of it. He is a God of hope and glory, not despair and defeat.

I have no words to thank the people that drew near to us in the past few days. My heart cries tears of gratitude and joy. You have done more than you know. A simple word, a kind gesture, or even just the few moments you took to listen and really hear.

These things you did have helped me see a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel (and I am pretty sure it's not an oncoming train!). You have helped restore my faith and reintroduced hope into my heart.

Thank you to all of you who pray for us, listen to us, share with us-you are the hands and feet of Jesus in our lives.